if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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