would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
