I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
