Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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