Cold hands, warm shart.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
