dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
