I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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