Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
ttyl tear gas
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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