no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
