Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
