just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
