You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
