quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Green mimosas i think yes
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
