i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just want to make out with him forever
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
