i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
