At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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