yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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