in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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