your parents love me but you hate me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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