no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
