I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
