Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
