is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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