You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
