it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
