This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
