escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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