i think my mom watched the whole time
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
