At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
