my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
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I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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