She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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