I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
