I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she pinky promised me she was 18
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
