This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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