idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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