I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
