Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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