My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
