A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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