OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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