apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
