Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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