I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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