So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
