in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
