i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
