some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
