Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
