You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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