make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize