You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize