I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize