Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
