based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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