glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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