dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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