Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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