The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
