My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
