After last night, I could never be a politician.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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