Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
