I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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